So when I leave here on this earth, did I take more than I gave?
Today marks not only the summer solstice - today is one month since we lost our beautiful father. Though nothing feels "normal" (as we know this is a sorrow that now accompanies us through our mortal journey) a talk with a co-worker today finally inspired me to write a few of my thoughts down.
Death is as natural of process for us on this journey as birth is - yet (most of us) ignore it and it feels like no one can talk about it in any proper way. But the whole talking piece is really necessary. So I'll share with you my thoughts; when this day comes in your world, just know that we are out here! Loving and ready to hold you in this space.
The people who arrive in these situations - and those who disappear - are surprising. When the dust settles, you will very clearly be able to see who stands with you. This is a (hidden) gift. Experiences of this magnitude will push you into a new space, and there isn't room for all of your old life there anymore. Outside of these few "angels" - the rest of everything feels like useless chatter and it just falls away. What used to stress me out a mere month ago - no longer has any effect on me. I know exactly where my heart lies.
When I see my siblings now, it literally feels like my heart is exploding out of my chest because I see so much "Dad" in them. I see his giant grin, his love of laughter and life, his generous heart - I see all of him. And I know that having twenty-seven great years with Dad and a lifetime with this stunning family marks me a lucky lady. If I wasn't quite sure of eternal life before, I am now.
"I heard you die twice, once when they bury you in the grave
And the second time is the last time that somebody mentions your name."
Soul spill + verbal garble. I will tell you right now - that it is your job as a good human to wake up every morning and do the very best you can. Tell all the people you love that you love them, every single day. Do the absolute most wicked job at your work as your can. Make an impact. Create community. Spread the love. This life is so short, each day wasted is already too much. There is so much inane, negative content out there - I hope this post stops you and makes you reflect, even for a moment.
This day came as a shock for us. Now I pour over these old photographs with a renewed and deep love for the job we've been gifted as photographers. We are invited into peoples lives for a day - voyeurs with fancy lenses. We create the images that they display at future weddings, family dinners and clutch onto in death. It's incredible. And overwhelming. All at once.
I got my breath, I got my faith and I remember why I came.